


Royal Invasion

by rainasteele



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Peasant!James, Sirius is part of it at some point, Slow Burn, princess!lily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25889848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainasteele/pseuds/rainasteele
Summary: Lily is the Princess of Gryffindor, one of the five kingdoms in the land of Hogwarts. As she navigates this role, she's also stuck dealing with the antics of James Potter, the son of her tutor. When the safety of Gryffindor is threatened, Lily and James must work together to restore the balance. If they're too late, Lily may end up losing her kingdom... and her freedom.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 22
Kudos: 22





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy my Jily Royalty AU! Please don't hesitate to comment with any constructive criticism!

Lily was thirteen when her parents passed away.

Passed away. That's a light word to describe what had happened.

She remembers the day as best as she can. She was in her daily lesson with her tutor, Monty, when the royal herald had come in and requested her presence in the throne room. Lily had been confused, and Monty had tensed, but nevertheless, she had complied.

Her parents, the King and Queen of Gryffindor, had been away on a diplomatic tour of the neighbouring kingdom of Hufflepuff. They had just left two days ago, and Lily remembered her father's warm smile and her mother's tight hug. They had promised to come home as soon as possible.

Lily had walked into the throne room, her heart hammering in her chest. She saw Petunia, her older sister, on the other side of the room. Lily made her way over to her sister, slowly linking their hands together. They both knew they were going to receive disturbing news.

After the news was delivered, Lily dropped to the floor in shock. She remembered Petunia's scream, burned into her memory. Lily had tried to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. There was a commotion next to her, and she realized that Petunia had fainted, her pale skin glistening with a light layer of sweat. Lily had wanted to bang her fists on the floor, yell at the top of her lungs, and cry until the tears wouldn't come. However, she did none of that. She was escorted back to her room, where she slept. For three whole days.

Over the next few weeks, she began to piece together the story of what had actually happened to her parents. King Philip and Queen Liria had lied to their daughters. While they had told the entire kingdom they were headed towards Hufflepuff, only their closest advisors had known the truth: they were planning on travelling to Slytherin.

Lily hadn't paid much attention to Slytherin, especially during her boring history lessons with Monty. Slytherin was governed by King Thomas, who was known for ruling with an iron fist. The entire kingdom was shrouded in mystery, and many people held Slytherin at fault for the various uprisings around the land of Hogwarts.

Lily didn't understand why her parents had to lie about their exact plans. She lay awake at night, thousands of questions running through her mind. Why had they lied to her? What was so important that they had to keep their visit a secret? Why had this happened to her family?

In the end, Lily unearthed that rebel Slytherin spies had killed her parents. They hadn't even reached Slytherin when their carriage was attacked. She tried getting more information about the attack from her parents' advisors, but no one wanted to tell the young princess the truth. Lily listened outside their closed-door meetings, hoping for any shred of information that would make the situation understandable.

There was no time to think about retaliation. The entire kingdom of Gryffindor was getting ready for Petunia's coronation. Her sister had mourned for two weeks, as was customary, before setting her face into a hard mask and planning the coronation. Lily tried to grieve with her sister, trying to keep any memory of her parents alive, but Petunia didn't want anything to do with it.

Lily's only saviour was James Potter. Considering how much she loathed the boy, it served to show how lonely she was in the castle.

James Potter was Monty's only son, always roaming unhinged around the castle, and causing twice as much trouble. James had moved to Gryffindor when Lily was ten, and Monty had immediately been appointed as Lily's tutor. She adored Monty, always excited to spend time with him and his infinite wisdom. His son, on the other hand, was a menace, to put it lightly.

James Potter teased her endlessly, from her carrot-coloured hair to her toad-like eyes. He was always getting her in trouble around the castle, from playing pranks on castle staff to making fun of the foreign ambassadors that came to visit. Lily hated his tornado hair and square specs that made him look like an educated dust bunny.

So, while Petunia sat on the throne of Gryffindor at the age of 17, Lily spent her time with James. And each day, her dislike of the boy only grew. But, alas, she had no one to complain to, other than the boy himself.

And complain she did. Lily matched him word for word, insult for insult, and when it came to it, threat for threat. Lily was known for her sharp tongue and short temper, though it only seemed to spark when James was around. The rest of the castle adored their young princess. She was polite and charming, a warm smile always on her face.

When Petunia chose to marry Vernon, less than a month after her coronation, it was James who patiently listened to her complain about the unfairness of it all. And, it was James who had sprinkled itching powder all across Vernon's sheets the night he had moved into the castle.

When Vernon slowly began to take her sister's authority for his own, Lily could only watch, dumbstruck that Petunia could let this happen. Her sister was only too content, still in love with her new husband. Lily had tried to reason with her, tell her that _Petunia_ was the trueborn queen, who had the only right to the throne. Petunia has dismissed her, telling her that she could have her jailed for spouting these treasonous thoughts.

So, Lily kept them to herself, save for the select few she deigned to share with James.

When Vernon shut the gates and locked the doors of the castle for good, Lily wanted to scream. Now she was lonely _and_ trapped. Vernon cited safety concerns as the reasoning, but Lily knew her brother-in-law only wanted to flaunt the extent of his power.

Lily had tried to speak to Monty, hoping he would sympathize with her, but her teacher had agreed that the order was for the best. Before her parents had died, they had told their daughters to hold their teachers in the highest regard. This was why Monty and James often dined with them, and this was why Lily respected Monty's judgment. She was sure Monty had his reasons for his decision.

Lily had gotten used to the absence of her parents over time. She still missed them dearly, though her heart seemed to have healed the deepest wounds. She wanted to hold her mother's hand once again and stare into the eyes of her father. She still had Petunia, though, however distant she may be, and for that, she was thankful.

She only had one desire.

She wanted to explore her kingdom. She wanted to see the sights and speak to the people and taste the food of the streets. She wanted to leave her prison and walk in the square. She wanted to dance with musicians and watch travelling plays.

She wanted to have a taste of freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just the prologue! I'm planning on updating about once a month, though that may change based on my schedule.   
> Feel free to leave any comments!


	2. I: A Promise of Freedom

_ The Eighth Year of Queen Petunia's Rule _

Lily swats lazily at a fly that's buzzing around her face, desperately trying to pay attention to the new concept Monty has just introduced. She gathers it has something to do with some revolution that happened over ten years ago, but she can't find the energy to focus. 

As the sun slants through the tall windows behind her, Lily feels her eyes getting sleepy, the heat forming a comfortable cocoon around her. She props up her head on her elbow, fighting the exhaustion. She stares at the back of Monty's greying head, hoping to retain at least a sliver of what he's been droning about for the past hour.

Her teacher turns suddenly, and Lily realizes that he's speaking to _her._

"Princess, I doubt you'll be able to repeat anything that I've been teaching you."

Lily jerks, her arm slipping from under her. She squints, trying to make out the words on the board in front of her when suddenly, the door to the solar bursts open. Lily groans, her head hitting the table when James Potter slides into the seat next to her. 

He tugs lightly on the end of her hair, and she immediately smacks his hand, lifting her head to glare at him. 

"What's the lesson of the day, dad?" he asks, and she can _hear_ the smirk in his voice.

"I've been _trying_ to talk about the various revolutions all across Hogwarts: in Gringotts, Little Whinging, Diagon Alley, and Godric's Hollow. But unfortunately, Lily's mind is elsewhere."

James sat up straighter next to her. Something passed between father and son, too quickly for Lily to understand. 

"I _was_ paying attention!" she yelps, indignantly, praying that Monty won't call her out on her lie.

She should've known he was too smart for her. Her professor quirks an eyebrow at her. "Very well then, a short quiz might prove me wrong."

Lily's resolve falters, but she won't give James the satisfaction of seeing her fumble. She reaches into the depths of her brain, trying to gather any information on revolutions. 

"Alright," began Monty, "We'll start easy. What was the event that began the siege of Gringotts?"

"The theft of the beloved pet of Bellatrix Lestrange, a known Slytherin nationalist," Lily answers flawlessly.

Monty nods. "Next question. Which establishment served as a stronghold during the riots in Diagon Alley?"

Lily has to think for this one, but answers confidently, "The Leaky Cauldron. It served as an inn for the rioters and provided food and drink."

"And finally, the last question. How long ago did the coup of Godric's Hollow occur?"

Lily stiffens. She _knows_ about the coup, but as she racks her brain, she comes up empty. "Uh, 35 years ago?" she guesses.

Next to her, James snorts, using a hand to cover his mouth. She feels like punching him in his face—irritating git.

Monty looks at his son. "James?"

"Ten years ago, almost bordering on eleven," he answers solemnly, and Lily flushes.

She huffs and crosses her arms, looking anywhere except at James. She's furious he got the best of her. It wasn't fair that she could barely keep her kingdoms straight, much less the dates of some far away rebellions. And, James, the smug bastard, loved rubbing it in her face. He wasn't even royalty! What was the point of upstaging her?

"We'll call it a day, Your Highness. But, please, I do hope you can manage to garner some interest in these topics. They may serve useful one day."

Lily blushes, but she can't muster up the concern to feel guilty. Petunia's the queen. She's the one who needed to care about uprisings and rebellions. Lily just wants to meet her people and help the poor. She wants to educate people and make some use of being a princess, with albeit limited power. She has a platform, but instead, she is locked inside, forced to listen to yet another lesson about stupid Godric's Hollow.

James waits until Monty leaves the room, before turning to her, a smile dancing across his lips. Lily doesn't care. She pushes back her chair, gathering her books, wanting to get as far as possible from him. James' face twists in confusion before he leaps up to follow after her.

"Lily, wait!"

"Bugger off, Potter."

James ignores her, catching her arm. "You know, I really wish you had a surname that I could use when _I'm_ especially pissed."

Lily hides the smile that wants to inch up her lips. As royalty, Lily and Petunia (and by extension, Vernon) only had first names and royal titles. James, a commoner, was required to have a surname that identified his family's profession. James' mother sold pots that she had made by hand, so his surname was Potter. 

This fact gave Lily some gratification during some of their especially fierce arguments. While it wasn't in Lily's nature to gloat that she was royalty, it felt good to know deep down, she had the upper hand. And she definitely needed it when she talked to James. 

She spins to face him, her eyes narrowed. "I _knew_ the answer to that question. No one asked you to charge in with your self-righteous need to be perfect."

He has the nerve to look amused. "You think I'm perfect?"

Lily decides she hates him, right at that moment. She wrenches her arm out of his grasp, turning away quickly so he can't see the blush spreading across her cheeks. "That's _not_ what I said," she mutters under her breath. 

She begins to walk in the direction of her room, tightening her grip on her books. James sprints after her, but she tunes him out. She's angry, and she doesn't want to test her patience.

"Ok, ok, Lily, wait!" 

She reaches the North Wing, where her quarters are. She steps across the threshold of her room, spinning around to face James, walking up to her. 

"Lily, come on, it was a joke."

She huffs and slams the door behind her. She hears his scoff before he starts insistently knocking on her door, apologies muffled by the thick wood. _Serves him right,_ she thinks childishly.

She deposits her books on top of her trunk, the noise startling her maid, who is straightening the drapes. Angely, a petite girl, had been Lily's maid for almost ten years now. And in those ten years, she has probably said less than ten words to Lily. Angely is sweet and ever so considerate, but Lily wishes she had someone who she could rage to about James.

Angely curtsies and Lily sends her a kind smile. The girl pushes back a lock of her thick brown hair. "Would you like me to bring you anything, your Highness?"

"No, of course not, Angely. And, please, call me Lily. I don't mind."

Angely just shakes her head, her face turning red. Lily regrets even bringing up the topic, but only her sister and James ever called her Lily. Vernon, on the rare occasion that he decides to speak to her, never refers to her by her name, relying solely on second-person pronouns. 

Lily doesn't have the energy to start another argument, so she asks Angely to open the window while she flips open her latest book. But, Lily can't focus, still bitter that James managed to steal her question. She knows she shouldn't dwell on it, but she can't help it. James just tends to get her furious with a few choice words. 

Rather than get increasingly worked up by her least favourite resident of Gryffindor, Lily decides to push open the doors to the balcony, throwing her hand up to shield the glare of the sun. It's hot, she knows that much, but she still loves her view. 

Below her, she sees the green of the courtyard, continually sustained to maintain its health. _Why bother_ , Lily thinks bitterly, _No one's going to see it either way._ Because right past the courtyard is the castle walls, about eight feet higher after Vernon signed some royal decree. 

Before, she was able to observe the sprawling market just outside the walls, but now it's become near impossible. Now, she's forced to squint to make out the edge of the marketplace, hoping to spot some vendor or some shopper amidst their haggling. She inhales, faintly making out the rich spices and swirling scents of the shops below. 

She sighs longingly, wondering if it is even worth it to taste something so close yet so out of reach. 

~~~

Dinner that evening was a sordid affair like it always was. Petunia asked after her lessons, and Lily gave the usual noncommital response. Vernon ignored her, instead choosing to go off about how he found a loophole to tax the Burrow even further. Lily gritted her teeth in frustration, but James, sitting across from her, gave her a simple shake of his head. It wasn't worth it. 

She retires to her room early, picking up her needlepoint from where she left it. Her governess, Lady McGonagall, would be livid if she didn't finish the simple lion. Lily hated needlepoint, but she respected McGonagall immensely, so she pushes the needle through the fabric, watching the thread follow. She pricks her finger a couple of times, but she just wipes it on her dress. 

The clock in her room strikes eleven, and Lily's surprised she lost track of time. She sets her needlepoint aside and starts pacing across her floor. She doesn't think he's coming, not after how she treated him. She's ashamed and hopes he's forgiven her. 

As the hand on the clock inches closer to the quarter mark, Lily feels her temper rising. She's fine if he doesn't come. In fact, she _prefers_ that he doesn't come. 

And then she hears it— _Thud, thud, thud_.

The three knocks against the air grate in the corner of her room. The signal.

Lily flips the latch holding the grate in place, gingerly removing it. James scrambles out of the opening, collapsing on her floor. Lily puts the grill in its place and nudges James on the floor with her foot. 

"Why did you come?" she asks, making sure to sound disinterested.

He gives her an impish grin. "Because it's tradition. And, because I don't like it when you're angry with me."

It was a tradition. James was the one who found the secret passageway up to her room. He spent every moment of his early years exploring every inch of the castle. One night, she heard a soft tapping, and when she went to investigate, she found James. Since that night, he had shown up at the grate precisely as the clock struck eleven.

Most of the time, James came alone. Sometimes, he brought Sirius, his adopted brother. James explained that the passages spanned the entire castle, but Lily was too scared to explore. She couldn't stand the claustrophobia of being enclosed in a dark space. 

If Petunia or Vernon found out about the tunnels, they would immediately have them blocked off. So, it was James and Lily's secret (and occasionally Sirius'), one of many. 

She rolls her eyes, extending her hand to help him stand. He takes it, and suddenly, she finds herself flush against him. She lets out a squeak and steps away from him, her hands fisting together. 

"You're late."

He runs a nervous hand through his hair, already quite messy. "I wasn't sure if you would see me."

"I was debating it."

"Are you still angry with me?"

An idea fills her head. "Yes," she answers shortly, "but I have a way you can make it up to me."

He lifts an eyebrow. "What's that?"

She stares straight into his eyes, her back straight. "Take me to the village."

His jaw drops. " _What?_ "

She clutches his hands. "James, _please_ , take me to the village. I want to see what it's like!"

"I can't! What if something happens to you?"

"Nothing will happen! You'll be with me."

James turns away from her. "It would be illegal."

"When has that ever stopped you?" she asks him.

"Why?"

"I _hate_ being cooped up in here, James."

"Lily, I-"

"Please," she begs, "no one even has to know!"

"They _will_ know. They'll know immediately!"

"I'll wear a disguise! Please, James. I _need_ to know what life is like outside of these four walls."

James hesitates, and Lily sees his thoughts reflected on his face. His brow furrows but then relaxes. He clenches his jaw, his own eyes roving over her face. Finally, he lets out a long sigh.

"Fine," he says, and a smile breaks across her face. She's about to hug him when he holds out a hand to stop her. 

"I'll take you to the village one day, I promise. But it's going to be on _my terms_ and _my rules_."

Lily holds out her hand. "Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy I got to update in Jilytober! I love this story so much and I hope you'll enjoy it too!


	3. II: An Adventure Decided

Lily waits. 

She knows that James will keep his promise. She trusts him. She just wishes he would be a bit faster. She's itching to leave the castle and have a taste of freedom. James tells her he has to prepare, figuring out a disguise and a route for them to take. So Lily waits patiently.

And, then finally, the day arrives. As James and Monty are leaving the royal dining room, James steps closer to her, bending down to whisper in her ear.

"Tomorrow night. I have it all planned."

Lily keeps her face impassive, but inside she can feel her heart thrumming with excitement in its cage. She fists her hands in her gown, waiting until she can finally return to her quarters. 

When James comes to visit her that night, he lays out his entire plan.

"We'll leave immediately at eleven. Wear your least conspicuous dress and hide your hair. Everyone knows you're a redhead. Lock your door and arrange your pillows strategically. When we leave, you speak to _nobody_. You will keep your head low until we get to my home."

Lily nods as she listens to him, refusing to interrupt. She knows she's smiling even though he's not. 

~~~

The next day, Lily can barely contain her nerves. 

Remus confronts her after breakfast, presenting her with her schedule for the week. Remus is the castle's official planner. He's the one who kept track of all of Vernon's meetings, Petunia's trips, and Lily's lessons. While Petunia and Vernon frowned upon Remus' pronounced limp, he was Lily's favourite castle staffer. 

Lily knew Remus suffered from polio when he was younger, which has left him bedridden and forced to use a brace when walking. Since the nearest village doctor was a half day's ride out, Remus had trouble keeping a job when he finally stumbled into the castle. Lily had attended the court session that day and had immediately asked her sister to add him to the castle payroll.

James became fast friends with Remus, happy to have another familiar face in the castle. After introducing him to Sirius, the three of them became inseparable. It was James and Sirius who took Remus to his monthly doctor's appointments, while Lily waited anxiously in the castle. 

Today, though, she can barely say two words to Remus, graciously accepting the parchment he offers before waving a quick goodbye. 

She reads through the agenda, noting that she's only scheduled for one day at court. She'll have to ask Remus about that later. She's so entirely focused on the paper, that she almost bumps into Monty.

She smiles at him, offering her apologies. He reassures her and says that he will see her later that day. Lily's confused as she looks down at her schedule, noting that she's not scheduled to have lessons with Monty until later that week. 

She reaches her room, where Angely has already drawn a warm bath for her. Angely helps her undress and carefully scrubs the grime off of her body. Soon enough, she leaves so she can pick out Lily's accessories for the day. Lily stews in the bath a bit longer, her thoughts wandering. 

She's so excited to see the town. She can't imagine how it's changed. The last time she stepped foot outside the castle was almost eight years ago before her parents died. She remembers her father holding her hand, explaining all the landmarks around them. Petunia had complained of the heat, but Lily was fascinated with all that she could see. The memory is fuzzy, and Lily can't recall the outline of her parent's faces. 

She steps out of the cold bath, wrapping a plush towel around her chest. She watches as the water makes small footprints on the tile floor, trying to get them to line up perfectly with each other. She finds her black silk chemise lying across the foot of her bed. She quickly slips into it, using the discarded towel to dry her hair.

She's just about to select her day dress when the door to her bedroom bursts open.

"Lily! Guess what? I- oh."

Lily spins around to find James in her doorway, a blush creeping up his cheeks as he averts his eyes.

"Er, sorry," he says sheepishly, turning around so that his back was to her. "I'll come back later. I didn't realize that- I mean- of course- I- sorry."

Lily laughs, throwing her towel at him. "Don't be ridiculous, James. Talk to me while I get dressed," she says, disappearing behind a screen.

James gapes at her incredulously as she passes him, running his hand through his hair. Her towel hits him in the face, and he's struck with her scent of vanilla and lavender.

He knew that Lily was a girl. He wasn't blind, nor was he an idiot. And, he had heard some of the blokes in the kitchen talking about how fit she was. But, James never paid any attention to them. She was just Lily for him. Lily, the girl who ripped his hair out if he ever stole her food. Lily, the girl who twisted his arm when he tried to copy her homework.

"I'm waiting," she tuts, her voice floating over the screen divider.

James jolts, clearing his throat. His cheeks are still red as he begins to recount his story.

"Er- yeah. So Sirius and I are riding around the village, right? He's got a new carriage, and he wanted to go for a spin. We run into these guards, who start to harp on us. We haven't even done anything wrong!"

"Wait, hold on," Lily interrupts, peeking out from behind the divider. James catches a glimpse of one bare shoulder and swallows thickly. "You're telling me that these guards stopped you for no reason?"

James nods, as she disappears around the screen once again. He tries his hardest not to focus on her silhouette as she continues to step into her dress.

"I mean, yeah, basically. We _might_ have been speeding a bit. But, who cares about that! It's not like we hurt anyone. They try to ticket us for not having a _registered_ carriage, can you believe it? Anyways, we're trying to get out of it and then they-"

He's just about to get to the best part, the part where they asked for their names, the part where Lily would've laughed the most when the door opens behind him, and Angely walks in, stopping short when she sees James. Her eyes flicker suspiciously between James and Lily's shadow, her lips pursing. James is just about to explain the whole situation when Lily steps out from the screen.

Her eyes brighten as she sees Angely, sending her maid a quick smile.

"Oh, Angely! Don't worry about getting me dressed. James here will button me up. I'll ring for you if I need anything."

Angely nods, exiting the room with a small curtsy. And that's when James realizes that Lily's holding up the back of her dress. The pale green dress reveals the top of her shoulders and her collarbone, jutting out at a perfect angle. Her hair falls across her face, and she lifts one hand to push it away, the dress sagging a bit more. 

She sends him a small smile. "You don't mind, do you?"

James shakes his head, not trusting himself to speak at the moment. Lily grins and plants herself in front of him, moving her hair over her shoulder so he can help her.

James stares at the cream skin of her back, sloping gently along the curve of her spine. She has a beauty mark, about one-fourth of the way down from her neck, right in the centre of her back, the dark colour contrasting starkly. He steps closer to her and gathers the fabric into his hands, his fingers rubbing the rich material between his fingers.

She's shorter than him, so he has to bend a bit in order to hook the buttons. His nose almost brushes against her shoulder, and he jerks back, hoping she hasn't noticed. He swallows again, his hands shaking as he fastens the first button. 

He's forgotten how to breathe. When he inhales deeply, her scent comes with it, filling his nostrils with vanilla and lavender.

She waits patiently, humming a soft tune under her breath. James thinks he recognizes it, but all he can focus on at the moment is how to get as far away from her as possible. He can't possibly think straight with her scent clogging up every inch of his brain.

When had it gotten so tricky to button something up? He used to be pretty good at it, he's sure. In fact, he had buttoned up his own tunic this morning. So why was he suddenly incapable of using his fingers?

Who invented these stupid buttons? First, he has to make sure each one was securely fixed onto its loop. On top of that, he has to ensure he hadn't missed any loops, causing her dress to be completely lopsided.

He wants to kiss her.

Damn these buttons.

His knuckles brush across her back once or twice, and he jolts against the unexpected warmth.

She speaks suddenly, knocking him out of his reverie. "I'm so excited about tonight."

James freezes. His fingers fumble with the last button at the nape of her neck. "Lily..."

"No, listen," she interrupts, turning to face him. Her eyes are wide with emotion. "You have no idea how _long_ I've waited for this."

"Trust me, I know."

He's watched her stare longingly out of windows, trying for a glimpse at life outside of the castle walls. He's watched her eyes light up when she's in court while a villager recounts a story. She's even begged him to tell her about his family, but James struggled to find joy in the life of a simple potter. 

She graces him with another brilliant smile, and James' heart gives a dull pang. _If only_ , he thinks. But, this is not the time nor the place. And besides, the past serves as a bitter reminder of why he shouldn't get any closer to her than he already has.

He bids her goodbye, her flowery scent still fogging up his senses. 

~~~

Lily wishes the rest of the day would go by quicker. She meets up with Madam McGonagall, who criticizes her needlepoint (which is fair, because she knows she deserves it). She can't stop nervously shaking her legs, waiting for James to meet up with her at night. 

She's on her way to dinner, her mind wandering aimlessly when she bumps into Sirius Black. It's the second time that she's bumped into someone, and she wonders if she has depth perception issues. 

Sirius is dressed in a grey tunic, which brings out his stormy grey eyes. In the castle, Sirius is James' best friend, but Lily knew him even before them. Sirius was young when he started visiting the Gryffindor castle with his parents from Slytherin. He never chose to interact with Lily then, always overshadowed by his parents. 

Lily knew very little about Sirius' parents, Lord Orion, and Lady Wallaburga Black. She knew they were from Slytherin, but she didn't understand why they came to the castle every six months. Whenever they came, Lily would hide away in Petunia's room, the two of them doing their best to stay away from Sirius and his younger brother, Regulus. 

A few months after James moved to Gryffindor, Sirius and his family came to visit. James met Sirius, and the pair of them hit it off instantly. Soon after, Sirius began to joke with Lily and, on occasion, teased her just like James. Lily enjoyed Sirius' company, though she would never admit it to the boy in question.

Then, one fateful night seven years ago, Sirius showed up James' cottage in the village. Lily tried to get the details from James, but he remained tight-lipped, only giving her a simple explanation. Sirius had run away from home. She had no idea what triggered it. He fled to Gryffindor on foot, and James' family had taken him in. Since then, he was a regular part of the castle, usually minding his own business. 

Lily gives him a simple apology, but he continues to study her with his incredibly perceptive eyes. "I heard you might be going on a trip soon."

Lily shushes him, her eyes darting around the empty corridor to make sure no one heard him. "Please, no one can know."

Sirius barks out a laugh. "Your secret's safe with me, Princess."

Lily scowls at him as he walks away, whistling a soft tune and his hands in his pockets. Lily grounds her teeth in frustration, but she pushes all thoughts of Sirius out of her head as she walks toward the dining room.

James is there, but he doesn't catch her eye. Instead, he stares straight at his empty plate. Lily shrugs and takes her seat next to Petunia at the head of the table. She gently places her napkin across her lap, smoothing out the ends. She taps her foot but stops when Petunia throws her a sharp glare. 

As usual, Lily tries her best to ignore Vernon and Petunia's idle talk, only chiming in when questions are directed towards her. She waits a respectable amount of time before asking to be excused. She has to prepare for tonight...

It's late by the time James comes round. 

Lily changes into her most drab dress, a brown frock with white detailing. Though, it's still made of smooth silk and has capped sleeves. James takes one look at her and rolls his eyes. 

"That's the best you could do?"

She can't stop the excitement from creeping into her voice. "I tried!"

He shakes his head and wraps her cloak around her. He stands in front of her as he buttons it and lifts the hood to cover her red hair. He's dressed in a simple white tunic and khaki breeches, his hair a messy hurricane. 

"Keep this on," he says, "and stay covered."

Lily nods, rolling on the balls of her feet.

"Tonight, we're just going to visit my home. I want to test the defences of the castle guards and make sure the path to the village is safe. I'll bring you back in the middle of the night, alright?"

"That's perfect. McGonagall's usually the first one up in the castle and likes to check on me at the crack of dawn, so I'll need to be back before then."

He double-checks the pillows under her covers and observes the lock on her door. He takes one last look around the dark room before offering her his hand. 

She hesitates, taking in his hazel eyes. Then, she takes his hand, squeezing it for reassurances. She trusts him, wholly and completely. He pulls her towards the grate, removing the cover. He slips into the passage first, slowly guiding her after him. He reaches above her head to shut the passage, and suddenly, they're surrounded by blackness.

Lily panics, but James gives her hand another squeeze. He reaches into his rucksack and produces a small torch, lighting it with the flick of a match. As the torch flares to life, Lily sees shadows dance across his face, his eyes still framed by his specs. He holds the light in front of them and escorts her along the path he knows by heart.

Lily follows blindly, her hand clutching his as they make their way through the walls of Lily's only home in complete silence. She bites her lip, excited to get a fresh of breath air finally. So what if she's only going to James' cottage tonight? It doesn't matter.

Because he's given her freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please don't hesitate to comment or message me on tumblr (@rainasteele) to let me know your thoughts!


	4. III: Pottery with the Potters

It feels like they're in the passageway for hours. 

Their steps echo, and every few seconds Lily thinks she's stepped into a cobweb. Instead, she resists the urge to squeal like a little girl, catching her breath and letting it out slowly. Her hand is still caught in James', hanging loosely between them as James takes the lead. 

All she can see is the back of his head, his hair wildly sticking up in every direction. It gives her comfort. No matter what happens, James is there, a constant. He never turns back to look at her, but she has a pretty good idea of the steely look on his face. 

With her free hand, she gathers her skirts, struggling to keep her head covered. She trails behind James, desperately trying to make out their path with whatever little light they have. He knows the way like the back of his hand. He pushes forward, making turns when necessary.

Suddenly, James stops abruptly. Lily stumbles into his back with a quiet _oof_!

James lets go of her hand and turns to face her. Lily laments the loss of his warmth but watches him as he pushes up his glasses with his hand. 

"Ok, we're pretty much in the clear from now on. There's just a bit more, and then we're out."

Lily nods, not trusting herself to say anything. James shuffles into step beside her as the two of them continue through the passages. Lily drags a hand across the stone walls, curious of the story behind these tunnels.

Was it for spies to meet in secret? Or an escape route for the royal family? Or maybe, it was used for servants to get from one place to another rather quickly. Though, Lily doubted that last one. The tunnels were expansive, but they were not quick. 

As they walk the rest of the way, James mentions small tidbits about his own adventures within the passageways:

"One time, Sirius and I got lost in here for hours when he took a wrong turn."

"That passage over there leads to Vernon and Petunia's room. Trust me, you don't want to know the story behind that."

"I took that path and ended up in some foreign ambassador's room. I panicked and said I was the chef. Left him very confused, I must say."

And on and on.

She's glad he can't see her face. While she would never admit it if anyone asks, she's jealous of James and all of his exploits. She knows how ridiculous it sounds. She's a princess, for crying out loud! Nevertheless, at times like these, she wishes she had a bit more freedom to _explore_. Her days in the castle are filled with lessons with Monty and etiquette with McGonagall. She's never gotten a chance to be rowdy and run through passages like a rogue. 

Lily pushes the regret out of her mind as James stops next to her. He holds up a hand before pushing against a small gate. It swings open with a squeak. Inside, it's even darker than the stone passages. 

"This is the worst part," James warns. "I would hold your breath."

Out of curiosity, Lily chances a small sniff. She immediately recoils, scrunching up her nose in distaste. The small alcove smells like spoiled milk mixed with rusted metal. She wonders what caused such an awful smell.

James answers her unspoken question. "I dunno why it smells like that. My guess is some sewage lines must run under it."

She has to duck to fit into the opening. The tunnel is made entirely of ore, and when Lily places a hand against it to steady herself, it's cold to the touch. James is a few paces ahead of her, the lantern flickering feebly. She follows the light until they come to a second gate, similar to the first.

James hands her the lantern and pulls something out of his pocket. He wrestles with the lock on the gate, and it clicks open. James steps aside to let her out first. Lily moves forward, hesitantly, raising the lantern to light the way.

She steps out of the tunnel and takes a calming breath. She finally did it! She's outside the castle. Just to make sure, she turns around, a smile breaking across her face as she looks at the silhouette of the castle. It's breathtaking against the night sky, though she can only see the highest towers. She figures the passageways have taken them straight to the castle wall. The same wall that she stares at every day from her balcony. 

She then swings the lantern away from the castle, more interested in landscape in front of her. It's empty, of course, as it's the middle of the night, but Lily can imagine the hustle and bustle of daily life. They're on the side of a wide road. Across, Lily sees some small huts, some candles shining in the doorways. A few ways ahead, she sees the market. It has small gates at the opening, and she sees smaller tents lined up side by side. She can only see the entrance, but she knows that hundreds of shops are crammed along a couple of small winding streets. 

James follows her out of the tunnel, coming to stand beside her. She turns to look at him, her eyes wide. 

"James,"—she stops to catch her breath—"this is amazing."

He just shakes his head, smiling to himself. She feels silly for marvelling at a _road_ , but it's been so long since she's seen _dirt_. She drops to her knees, setting the lantern beside her as she sifts the dirt through her fingers. It's sand-like and smooth. The small granules slip through her fingers almost immediately. She has a wild thought to taste it, but she refrains. James would definitely tease her about that. 

He's also kneeling in front of her, his hand reaching toward her face. She freezes. She can't see his eyes behind his glasses. She is pretty sure her own eyes are wide with confusion. 

But, he reaches behind her and tugs the hood of her cloak over her head. It must have fallen down along the way. She pulls it tighter around her, standing up with a small laugh. She wipes her dirty hands on the front of her skirt.

"You ready, Dirt Queen?" James asks, picking up the lantern from the ground.

Lily scowls at the name. "Yes," she replies anyway, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow. 

"Lil, just a warning," James begins, warily.

She looks up at him in confusion. He's looking straight ahead, his jaw set. 

"My house, it's not really much. It's pretty dingy. Not like the castle rooms you're used to."

Lily squeezed his arm. "I hate those castle rooms. And, James, it doesn't matter to me how fancy your house is. It's _yours._ Of course I'll love it."

James flushes red, his hand fisting in his hair. "Er, right then. Shall we?"

He leads her across the road into a small alleyway. They walk briskly, and Lily has trouble keeping up with James' long legs while also making sure not to trip on the hem of her dress. They meander through the small streets, Lily taking in as much as she can. She's glad James is with her because, with the number of twists and turns they've made, there is no way she can figure out how to get back to the castle on her own. She turns her head slightly so she can see the tallest parapet of the castle, gleaming in the moonlight.

"Oi, watch out!" James whispers harshly.

She whips back around and trips over the hem of her dress, narrowly missing the bucket of water in the middle of the lane. James tightens his grip on her arm, and she pitches forward, her hands flailing aimlessly. He then grabs ahold of her other arm and pulls her upright. She lets out a loose breath. 

"God, why would people put a _bucket_ in the middle of the street?"

James looks pained. "You don't want to know."

She grumbles and pulls up her hood once again. It's only a matter of time before James slowly turns the next corner and elbows her slightly. 

They've arrived at his house. 

She notices immediately that he was partially right. The house is small, but Lily admires the spiralling little vines creeping up the side of the walls. The windows are shuttered, but the outside matches the colour of the sloping roof: a calming sunset red. Further back, Lily can see a garden equipped with a pottery wheel and a few slabs a clay. There's a cylindrical well close to the pottery area, its bucket attached to an unattended string. The house is well-tended, with small garden gnomes decorating the front. 

However, she also knows he was wrong. Though it may not be much to the casual viewer, this house held so much love and care within its four walls. This was where James had grown up. She's sure he has memories from each and every corner of the home. She can vaguely remember James telling her a story of how he had accidentally drained the well one day, so his family had to beg the neighbours for fresh drinking water.

Slowly, James takes her to the front where he raps the door three short times. She hears shushed voices inside before the door swings open, flooding them with the light from a new lantern. 

"James, come in, come in."

James ushers Lily into the home, taking one last sweeping look behind him before he shuts the door. His mother stands in front of them, her own lantern providing them light inside the dark home. 

It's been years since Lily has seen Mia, so she drops her hood and flings herself into her arms. Mia lets out a surprised gasp before lowering her lantern and wrapping her own arms around Lily. 

"Lily, it's so good to see you."

Her embrace is warm, and Lily can scarcely remember the last time she was hugged with such motherly care. Mia is tall, her long black hair sprinkled with strands of white. The lines on her face have gotten deeper, but her kind hazel eyes haven't lost their glow. Her smile resembles her son, both lifting one side of their mouth higher than the other.

Lily slowly steps away from Mia, her eyes roving over the interior of the home. She can see the path to the kitchen, straight in front of her. There are two bedrooms to her left, she assumes one for James and one for his parents. A hallway to her right leads out to the back garden, and she can spot the pottery wheel clearly. 

"Thank you so much for having me, Mia. You have no idea how grateful I am," Lily says.

"Oh, hush, child," Mia replies, squeezing Lily's hand. "You are always welcome inside our home."

"James, why don't you show her around?" Monty has emerged from the kitchen, his hair mussed up.

James scratches his nose. "Um, there isn't much to show. This is the door, this is my room, that's the kitchen."

" _Our_ room, I think you mean," says a gruff voice behind Lily and she almost jumps from surprise.

She's forgotten that Sirius also lives with James and his family. His grey eyes are narrowed, and his arms are folded across his chest with a taste of hostility. 

"Now, Sirius, don't be rude to our guest," Mia chastises, guiding him into the kitchen with a gentle arm around his shoulder.

Sirius sends a look to James, which Lily can interpret easily. It says: _Why is she here? This is our home, not a hotel..._

Lily shrugs it off as James escorts her into the first bedroom on her left. With a shock, she realizes it's James' room. There are two bedrolls on the floor in opposite corners of the room. She sees a table with a stack of clothes and a small hook for a lantern. There's a small window that faces the front yard. James' side of the room has a stack of a few books. Sirius' side is much messier and has clothing piled up in various corners.

She feels awkward in James' room. He's been in her room hundreds of times, and she's never batted an eye. But now, stepping into his, Lily feels as if a barrier has been removed between them. He's allowed her to see into his own soul, and she's grateful for it. She realizes with a start that she always assumed that James and his family were rather wealthy because Monty worked in the castle. She never thought that they would live in an overcrowded village.

If this was James' situation, even with a parent working in the palace, how were the others who lived in the village? The others who slaved away, day after day, to make ends meet? In fact, how was Mia's pottery doing? She at least had the satisfaction of a steady income, but she must work for hours on her pots. 

"Here, have a seat." James had pulled out a chair for her.

She waves her hand away and plops down on the edge of his bedroll, gesturing him to sit across from her. He complies, folding his legs underneath him. He twidles his thumbs, his shoulders hunched. 

"James, thank you so much for this," she says kindly.

He lifts his eyes to meet hers for a brief second before dropping them. "Right. No problem."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not." He says it quickly, and Lily has a strong suspicion that he's lying.

"This has been incredible. I've never imagined how much the village has changed after so many years."

James nods mutely. She doesn't even know if he's listening to her.

"Your house," she begins, making another attempt at conversation, "it's beautiful. I absolutely love it."

That prompts a response from him. "You don't have to pretend. I know it's nothing like the palace you're used to."

She's astonished. How could he think that still? "James, your house has so much _life_ in it. I'm sure you have memories of every corner of this house. In fact," she points to a small dent in the wall, "I bet there's a story behind that."

James follows her finger. "Er—yeah. Sirius and I got into a bit of a disagreement, and I threw a shoe at him."

"See!" she says, "If I made a dent in my room, some palace painter would come in and fix it. End of story. It's not the same."

"Lily, you can't possibly be telling me that your palace is worse than this. You're lucky to live there."

"I know. Of course, I'm lucky. I know that. But I don't want you to be ashamed of what you have either. You should be grateful for your family, for Sirius, for all the things that you've been allowed to experience. Yes, my life has been drastically different than yours, but that doesn't make yours any less valuable."

James stares at her, his mouth agape. 

"Lily, come with me," Mia says, poking her head into the bedroom. "I have something I want to show you."

Lily follows her, leaving James alone in his bedroom. Mia leads her to the outside patio, the cool air blowing across her face softly. She slips off her shoes, her toes padding across the fresh grass. Soon, they come to the muddy outcropping, where slabs of wet clay are stacked.

Mia beckons her towards the pottery wheel, slowly taking a seat on the small stool behind it. The wheel is weathered with years of use. Mia's hands immediately come to rest at the base, her fingers brushing the edges of the wheel.

She looks up at Lily, a twinkle in her eyes. "Have you ever made a pot before?"

Lily stands to the side as Mia loads a slab of wet clay onto the wheel. She dips both her hands in a small bowl of water next to her foot. Her left hand begins to deftly rotate the wheel. She makes an indentation in the middle of the clay with her right thumb before bringing both hands to shape the outside of the clay. She does it with such precision and care that Lily is mesmerized by the movement of her hands. The clay contracts and heightens before Mia's palms shape it into a smoother curve. She continues her ministrations on the clay, spinning the bottom wheel every once in a while.

"Oi, Mia!" comes Monty's shout from inside the house. "C' mere, I need your help with something."

Mia sends Lily an apologetic look before standing up and wiping her hands on her apron. She nudges Lily towards the stool.

"It's easy," she promises. "Just keep spinning the base wheel and keep your hands steady. It's rather relaxing."

Lily freezes. She sluggishly makes her way towards the three-legged stool, shifting her dress to sit down. The pot has started to become misshapen, the top layer looking more like a rocky mountain range rather than a smooth ledge. She stares at it for a while, too afraid to touch it. 

She takes a deep breath and tries to follow Mia's instructions. She wets her hands from the small bowl. She attempts to spin the wheel, but it's unsteady and the clay shifts precariously. She tries again, finding the balance of the wheel. It only takes two more tries before she's able to get the wheel to spin on its own. She then slowly rests her palms on either side of the clay, allowing the rotation of the wheel to shape the clay. She experiments with it, too. She presses a gentle finger to the side of the clay and marvels as a small circular ring is formed. She moves her finger up and down, and a wave is formed. She giggles to herself as she alternates between rings and waves.

However, she's forgotten to spin the wheel again, and the table slows to a stop. The clay slides along the side and lays in a wasted heap. Lily's heart gives a dull pang. She's ruined Mia's entire creation. She wants to cry. She cries. The tears fall off her chin as she tries her best to gather the clay back onto the wheel. She hopes no one has noticed her failure.

A hand joins to help her. She looks up in surprise as James collects the clay and deposits it on top of the wheel. She stops to stare at him as he kneels next to her, his own hands shaping the clay back into the original earthen mound. 

Lily stands suddenly, knocking the stool to the ground. She hastily wipes at the tears on her face, leaving streaks of clay across her cheeks. James comes to stand in front of her. He extends his hand, coated in red from the clay.

"Would you like to learn?"

She takes his hand, and he pulls her back to the wheel. He offers her the stool while he kneels beside her. It gives her some satisfaction that they're somewhat the same height, which hasn't been true for almost nine years. 

He gently takes her hand, showing her how to spin the wheel. He tells her the best speed for the best type of pots and changes the force for each spin. He then wets his hands and Lily follows suit once again. He guides her hand to the centre of the clay, taking her thumb and pushing down on the centre while his own hand turns the table. He helps her shape the outside, just like she had been doing before. He tells her to keep her hands farther apart so that the clay has more room to expand. 

"Here's the hardest part," he explains, taking her hand towards the inside of the clay. 

He shows her how to shape the inside, keeping both hands parallel, with only the rotating clay in the middle. She focuses on making sure the interior of the pot is smooth, clearing out any bumps or ridges. He takes a few moments to check her work, making slight adjustments with his own hands. Lily watches as he moulds the clay, pushing and prodding at just the right spots. 

Once the inside is done, he demonstrates how to shape the base, making it smaller than the rest of the pot. He creates an "O" shape with the index and thumb of each hand, placing it around the bottom of the clay. Soon, he allows her to take over, giving her small tips and words of encouragement as she works. 

Finally, they work on the rim of the pot, which requires more patience. They have to slowly mould the clay into a thin, flat slab. James shows her how to fold over the edge in a repetitive pattern while he slows the wheel so she can follow. It doesn't take long, it's just very detail-oriented. 

By the time they're finished, Lily's hands are stained red, with small chunks of clay buried under her nails. She can't remember a time when she's had dirt under her nails. It's beyond exhilarating. 

James pushes off of his heels and stands next to her, twisting to crack his back. Lily joins him, rubbing her hands on the front of her dress. James raises an eyebrow at that.

"How're you going to explain that to Angely?"

Lily shrugs, looking down at the dark red blob on her skirts. "She barely speaks to me. I don't think I have to do much explaining."

James juts his chin out at the pot sitting on the wheel. "That'll take about a day to dry."

He's staring at the pot, but she's staring at him. She reaches up to turn his chin towards her. Behind his glasses, his eyes have turned molten. It reminds her of _that_ day that she's tried so hard to forget. 

"James," she whispers, her eyes alight with happiness, "that was amazing!"

She wants to wrap her arms around him, but she keeps her distance. She doesn't want to overstep her boundaries. 

But, in the end, it's James who reaches towards her. His thumb rubs against a spot on her cheek. She inhales softly as he moves away, tilting his head.

"Reckon I made it worse."

"What?" She touches her face.

"You had dried clay on your cheek, but," he holds up his own red hands in defence, "I don't think I made it any better."

Lily rolls her eyes. "You're insufferable."

He nudges her. "Not entirely."

She refuses to give him an answer to that and makes her way towards the house. He follows her, wiping his own hands on his breeches. 

"Just wait a second." She stops and doubles back towards the pot on the wheel.

Finding a small twig on the ground, she gingerly pokes the wet clay. She then traces the letters into the bottom corner of the pot, marking it.

_L J_

She stands, satisfied. She whirls around and joins James as they both make their way inside the small hut. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
> 
> Wishing a very happy holiday season to all my followers and readers. I hope you all get a chance to spend some quality time with your friends and family. Take some time to reflect on some of the positives from this past year.
> 
> Thank you for all the love and compliments on my writing. I hope to keep updating and writing in the new year! Happy holidays, happy new year, and good riddance 2020!


	5. IV: Action and Inaction

She wakes to someone roughly shaking her.

She lifts her head off of the table and tries to make out her unfamiliar surroundings, opening one bleary eye. And then, with a shock, it comes back to her.

She's at James' house. She must have fallen asleep. She can vaguely remember her and James sitting at the kitchen table, simply talking.

She rubs her eyes, seeing James' panicked face in front of her. She reels back.

"What's going on?"

He helps her stand, rushing away to find her cloak. Lily stands and stretches her back. She cranes her neck and smiles as the sun's rays begin to lighten up the room.

Wait. _The sun?_

Lily jolts and scrambles to the window where she can see the ascent of the sun on the far horizon. _Shit_ , she thinks. She needs to be back at the castle! She can imagine McGonagall bursting into her room and only finding an assortment of pillows. Oh, the havoc that she would wreak.

"James!" she shouts, rushing into the hallway just as James comes sprinting from the opposite direction.

They collide, but James gets to his feet quickly, wrapping the cloak securely around her. Lily lifts the hood as he grabs the lantern from beside the door. The action causes Lily's eyes to travel towards something hidden behind the door.

It's a sword. It's polished silver with small, red rubies encrusted in the hilt. It seems out of place in this humble home. She wants to ask James about it, but he hastily pulls open the door, shooing her out.

"Mum, Dad," he yells over his shoulder, "I'll be back!"

Lily keeps the hood of her cloak covering her face as they make their way out of the house. "McGonagall will positively _murder_ me if I'm missing."

"We can make it," James assures her. "We just have to be quick."

They make it to the entrance of the passageway in record time. James asks Lily to stand watch as he fiddles with the lock behind her. She taps her foot nervously as she waits for him to unlock the gate.

A few moments later, she hears the _click_ and turns around immediately. James stows something in his pocket as he opens the gate and picks up the lantern off of the ground. He ushers her into the opening before following her in.

She's better prepared for the smell this time and picks up her skirts so that she can walk through the tunnel faster. They make it out, and then, it's James who takes the lead, striding through the passageways like a man on a mission.

She runs behind him, her footsteps echoing off the walls. She wonders what time it is. What if McGonagall already sounded the alarm? What if the entire castle is on lockdown because of her one wish? She tries to calm herself and take a deep breath.

They twist and turn through the passages, and Lily loses count of how many times they've changed direction. She's grateful for James, who knows the route like the back of his hand.

"Hurry," she urges, her heart pounding in her chest.

"I'm trying," he shoots back.

After what feels like hours, Lily spots the familiar grate of her bedroom in the distance. She rushes towards it, popping it out of its frame.

"I'll see you later," James tells her as she scrambles out of the grate. He stays behind and fixes it back into place while Lily discards her cloak, kicking it under her bed.

She spots her reflection in one of the mirrors and holds back a gasp. There are streaks of red dried clay on her cheeks. She scrubs at them anxiously, but to no avail. Her dress is muddy at the bottom hem, with dark splotches of colour down the front. Her feet are coated in soil, clumps of it peeping out from between her toes. And her hair is a rat's nest from sleeping on the table to racing through the streets of Gryffindor.

She takes a deep breath before peeling back her covers and jumping straight into her pristine bed. She feels sorry for the maid who's going to have to scrub all the muck from her sheets, and she tries her best to inflict as little damage to the linen as possible. She brings the covers over her head and waits.

And it's not a moment too soon. There's a strong knock at the door before it's pushed open.

"Lily!"

It's not McGonagall. It's Petunia.

"Yes?" Lily mumbles into the pillow, praying that she sounds half-asleep. She's sure that Petunia can hear her heart drumming in her chest. _Thump. Thump. Thump._

"Get up, quickly! Breakfast is being served in the dining room."

Lily groans, making sure to keep her face covered and her arms out of sight. "Why?"

"You're accompanying Vernon and me in court today, and I do not stand for tardiness."

"I'll be there soon. Just let me freshen up."

Lily can't see her sister's face, but she imagines Petunia's scrunched eyebrows and upturned nose.

"Don't be late," Petunia says, at last, gathering her skirts and shutting the door behind her.

As soon as the door shits, Lily leaps up from the bed, brushing out all the dirt that she can from the sheets. She then rings for Angely while retrieving her cloak from under her bed. She hopes that James has made it back home safely. She can't imagine how stressful this must be for him.

Angely knocks on the door, and Lily tries to smooth out her dress, looking as presentable as can be. Her maid closes the door and turns around, her mouth dropping open in shock at Lily's condition.

"What happened, Your Highness?"

 _Four words!_ Lily celebrates internally.

"Er—I'd rather not say, if you don't mind, Angely. Would you be able to draw a bath? Petunia's expecting me in court."

Angely scrubs at the red stains on her skin, untangling the knots from her hair. Lily tries her best to pick at the dirt under her toenails, hoping Angely doesn't notice.

Soon, she's all clean, leaving no traces of her adventures from last night. It leaves her with a pang of slight sadness, though she resolves that nothing could ever make her forget her first official night in the village. After she's fitted in a deep blue dress, Angely sits her in front of the mirror to braid her hair. Lily slips on her small diamond marquise-cut ring—a gift from her late mother—twirling it around her pinky finger.

That's where she notices it. A small smattering of rust red, right between her ring and pinky finger. She rubs the spot subconsciously, watching as the red stays glued onto her skin like it's part of it. A memory—a small piece of last night that proves it happened. It's not a vivid dream that she had.

Lily rushes to breakfast, desperately hoping that Petunia hasn't already made it to the throne room. She's out of luck as she enters a mostly empty dining room. She stuffs a piece of toast in her mouth, chewing as daintily as possible while slurping down her piping hot tea. She jumps the minute it hits her tongue, a drop splattering onto the front of her dress. Lily rubs at the stain with her napkin, but it's stubbornly embroidered into the silk.

And then Remus is at her elbow, rushing her. She makes a final attempt to dab at the stain on the front of her dress but gives up when Remus clears his throat one last time. She shoots him a dirty look as she pushes her chair out and allows him to lead her to the throne room.

They enter through a side door, meant only for castle inhabitants. The throne room is large, as it should be. However, it's not the same as Lily remembers from her childhood. As soon as Vernon was coronated, he changed the entire visage. Whereas before the path to the dais was left unchecked, with only a regal red carpet, Vernon has decorated each side with horrendous statues of bulldogs (his favourite) and lions (the official animal of Gryffindor). He replaced the simple chandelier with a crystal monstrosity, one that looked like it might cause the roof to cave in at any moment. The stairs leading up to the dais are sprinkled with rose petals, and Lily has to hold back a snort at the cliche.

But the worst thing that he has changed are the thrones. Lily remembers marvelling at her parents' thrones, one red and one gold, a perfect yin and yang. Each one was detailed in its contrast colour, with small gems lining the edges. King Philip had always told his daughters to value simplicity over materialism. Instead, it seems as if Vernon has done the exact opposite. The thrones have been stripped of their original materials and lined with an expensive gold velvet cover. There are large, gaudy diamonds around the rim, and he's had the thrones lifted about a meter off the ground. Lily hates it all.

Petunia and Vernon are already seated at the top of the dais when she enters. Petunia spots her and glowers at her, her blue eyes zeroing on the small stain on the front of Lily's dress. How Petunia has such hawk-like vision, she will never know. She scrambles to the top of the dais as Remus gingerly takes his seat at the foot of the stairs, his leg contained within a brace for the day. Vernon is red with anger as she passes him, his cheeks flushed all the way to his neck. Petunia doesn't spare her a second glance, her gaze focused on the doors at the opposite end. Lily takes her place at Petunia's left, her own throne untouched by Vernon's remodelling.

The heralds at the doors announce the commencement of their time in court. The sounds of the trumpet echo through the room, and Lily schools her features into the demure royal princess that's expected of her.

Much of the morning is taken up by complaints of lack of clean water and the drastic increase in taxes. It all makes Lily sick to her stomach, but she keeps her mouth shut. Vernon would never forgive her if she questioned his authority.

So when her brother-in-law dismisses the claims of water ("It's not our responsibility to make sure you can sustain your family") and threatens to increase taxes ("Be grateful for what you have. I could always take more of your money"), she grits her teeth but doesn't say a word. She hopes Petunia will speak up and comment, but her sister just nods along with her husband.

Her fingers find a small smattering of rust red, right between her ring and pinky finger.

And then, sometime around midmorning, they get their first real case.

Inspector Fischer brings in the man. He's horribly thin, the clothes hanging off of his body like a skeleton. His face is gaunt, flecks of blood visible on his hands and cheeks. His hair is matted and knotted—one eye completely swollen.

Lily finds herself leaning forward as Fischer explains. This man, Robert Jorkins, was arrested for the murder of his neighbour. Frank Bryce was found dead in his home one morning, and a witness said that they saw Robert near the scene of the crime. Fischer and his cronies arrested Robert immediately, bringing him to the castle holding cell.

Lily focuses on Robert—the man looks devastated. He's trembling—his entire body slumped against the ground. She hears Vernon declare a date and time, but she still can't take her eyes off of the man. She feels her own fists clench as she strains to listen for a shred of evidence that they've found against Jorkins.

"That's my final ruling. He shall be sent to the scaffold next Monday. Good day," says Vernon with an eerie certainty. Fischer looks smug.

With a shock, she realises Vernon means to sentence him to death. _Murder_.

It's all happening too fast. _Murder._

"You can't!" she interrupts, jumping out of her chair.

Vernon's gaze snaps to her, eyes murderous. Petunia presses her lips into a thin line. There's a muscle jumping in her sister's cheek.

"Murderers deserve to be hung. He's lucky he got a trial."

"I'm innocent!" cries the man on the floor.

Fischer delivers a swift kick to his ribs, and the man grunts from pain. Lily gasps and swivels back to face her brother-in-law.

"Stop! Please, Vernon, I'm begging you. Don't do this."

"Lily! You will address the King with respect," her sister snarls.

Lily ignores her, focusing all her willpower onto Vernon. "Please... find some evidence. There's barely anything. Don't do this without any proof."

He dismisses her. "You're too naïve and innocent, princess. Take him away!"

"NO!" she thunders.

She lifts her skirts and runs down the stairs of the dais, towards Fischer and Jorkins. Fischer is shackling the prisoner when Lily gets to him. She swiftly tugs on his uniform, releasing Jorkins from his grip. The frail man falls back to the floor. Fischer jerks away from her, raising a hand to slap Jorkins when Lily catches his arm, a fire in her eyes.

"I order you to step away from this man," she hisses, her voice low.

Fischer looks back towards Vernon, who has risen from his own throne.

"Lily! What is the meaning of this?!" Petunia roars, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths.

"Petunia, tell me, where is the proof? How do you know this man committed murder?" She turns back to the inspector. "Show me the evidence."

Fischer turns red, his eyes wide as he glances at Vernon for reassurance.

"Don't look at him! Look at me!" Lily commands, forcing him to look down at her. "Where is the evidence?"

"We had a witness," Fischer says simply.

"Where is this witness? Why aren't they here today?" Lily asks.

Fischer shrugs. "Not important."

"Not _important_? Not important!" She turns and points a finger at Jorkins. "You're deciding the fate of this man's life, and it's not important?!"

"ENOUGH!" bellows Vernon.

But, Lily's heated, and she can feel the anger burning in her veins. "No, Vernon. This is _wrong._ You can't _kill_ someone without proof!"

"Petunia—" he says, turning to his wife "—control your sister. I will not stand for disobedience in _my_ court!"

"It's _not_ your court!" Lily rages. "It's hers!" She points at her sister.

Petunia sucks in a sharp breath. For a moment, Lily thinks her sister is going to side with her. For a moment, Lily thinks she's going to have her sister back. For a moment, Lily thinks her sister is going to defy her husband.

The moment shatters when Petunia speaks. "Lily! That's enough. Fischer, escort my sister out of the room."

The inspector bows his head, gently grabbing Lily's elbow. She twists out of his grip, her eyes welling with tears of anger.

"You can't do this! There isn't any proof! Please, I'm begging you! Don't do this! He has a family, a life. You can't take that away from him."

"Fischer!" Petunia repeats, her tone more forceful.

This time Lily lets the inspector lead her out of the side door. She stares at the ground, shame and anger swelling inside her. She uses the heel of her hand to swipe at the tears that have fallen. Fischer opens the doors and deposits her outside, shutting the door behind her with a large click.

She stays behind the closed double doors for a while longer, praying that there's some difference, hoping that she's saved a man's life. Hope is overrated.

The last thing she hears. Vernon's voice. "Fischer, take him to the dungeons!" The screams drown out the rest.

Helpless. That's how she feels. Wholly and utterly helpless.

~~~

The man's screams haunt her dreams for the next few weeks.

They consume her every waking moment as well. She can't concentrate during her lessons, she refuses to make eye contact with James, and she can't summon the courage to show up in the dining room. Every time she thinks of Vernon, bile threatens to rise up in her throat. Angely brings all her food to her chambers.

She's sure that the story of the court incidence has spread throughout the castle by now. She hears some of the maids whisper when she walks past, though Angely won't tell her anything. She doesn't even know if she's the villain or the hero.

Remus stops by a few times to ask her to go to court. She doesn't. She can't stomach the thought of going and seeing all the horrible, atrocious crimes Vernon will inevitably commit. She simply shakes her head and asks Remus to come up with an excuse. 

She cries, too. She cries for Robert Jorkins and his family, wherever they are. She buries her face in her pillow as she tries to twist all the memories out of her brain, but they're deeply etched into every corner of her mind. She cries for her sister—Tuney—not Queen Petunia.

Sometimes, she walks through the gardens aimlessly. She sees Sirius a few times, but he keeps his distance. Lily appreciates that. She doesn't want another pitiful glance. She thinks James gives her more than enough.

James still shows up every evening to try and comfort her. Nothing works. She knows that if she looks back into his hazel eyes, she'll lose it. She won't be able to stop everything from spilling out. She'll be helpless. Again.

The worst part is, she knows that she's hurting James. She doesn't know how to stop. She looks in the mirror, and she feels complicit in the murder. He wouldn't understand. He couldn't understand. This is her kingdom, and it's being torn into pieces.

She wonders what her mother would say to her. It doesn't matter, though. Her mother isn't here.

"...and that's why we've never gone back to Scrivenshafts!"

Lily squeezes her eyes shut as James attempts another joke, another story, another way to cheer her up. She doesn't want to be cheered up. She wants to be alone.

"Lily, come on. That's one of my best ones!"

She fists her hands in her dress as she stares at her lap. It's dark outside. James is sitting in the neighbouring armchair—his feet turned towards her.

And then, suddenly, he's not. He's kneeling at her feet, his hands coming to her shoulders.

"Lil, please, talk to me."

She knows it's a mistake, but the magnetic pull is just too great, and she lifts her head to look at him.

It's not a spark. It's a connection.

And Lily is too helpless to ignore it.

She stares into the pools of gold, green, and brown, all melding together. She looks at her own self, reflected in his glasses. She looks at him—properly this time—the crease in his forehead, the downturned lips, the hollow look in his eyes. And then she sighs.

"I'm a failure," she whispers, barely.

For a second, his hands leave her shoulders. And then they're back. His hands curling around her own. His thumbs rubbing across her knuckles.

"Never."

It's one word, but it changes everything for her. She lets it all go, the sadness, the guilt, the shame, all of it. It flows out of her in one continuous stream. She tells him. Of course, she tells him. She was always going to tell him.

"James, you weren't there. You don't know what—you don't know how—"

"So, then tell me."

And she does.

The entire story falls from her mouth before she even has the chance to process it. She doesn't realise she's crying until she feels the tear splatter onto her hand—their hands.

James waits. He listens, and he waits.

She swallows thickly, and Lily doesn't know what to do. She wants to hold him. She wants him to hold her. _Indecent_.

"Lily," he begins, his voice soft, "that was amazing. You stood up to Vernon! That's remarkable."

"Didn't you listen to me?" Lily asks, "I failed. He won. I lost."

"Gods above, Lily. Not everything in the world is so black and white. You stood up to him. I consider that a victory."

She wrenches her arms out of his grip and stands up, her back to him. "You don't get it! I couldn't stop that man from being killed."

James circles around her, coming to stand next to her. "But you said something. You made Vernon stop and think."

"It didn't do any good! I couldn't save him!"

"It shouldn't be your job to save him. You did your best. I really admire you for that."

She looks at him, at those hazel eyes. Connection.

Still, it's not enough. "You don't understand," she whimpers. "I can't stop thinking about it. I dream about his face. I can't get his screams out of my head. I still see Vernon, but sometimes I think it's _me_ he's sending to the guillotine."

"Lily—"

"No!" She pushes him away from her. "You could never understand. I was useless. Useless! What would my mother think of me? What would my father say? I'm a murderer. I killed that man! I don't want this anymore. What's the point of being the princess if I can't help my own people? I hate Vernon. I HATE HIM!"

She drops to the floor and hugs herself, the tears falling steadily down her face. She's cold and alone. Her heart aches, and her mind won't be quiet. Screams. Cold and alone.

And then she's not cold and alone. She's warm and wrapped in an embrace. She never wants to be cold and alone. She wants to be warm and wrapped in _this_ embrace. _Indecent._

And then his voice, right by her ear. "You're not useless. You're strong. So strong, I don't even think you realise it. I've watched you grow, Lily, and your parents would be so proud of you. So proud. Some things are out of our control. I know what happened was awful. Beyond awful—it was barbaric. If I could, I would wring Vernon's throat myself. But it was never your fault. It is his responsibility to care for his subjects. And _he_ failed. Not you. Never you."

She presses closer to him, squeezing her arms around him and pouring everything she can into the space between them. She's so grateful for him, so nauseatingly grateful. She plays with the small hairs at the nape of his neck as he rests his chin on her shoulder.

"Thank you."

It's only a whisper, but she wants to convey eons of gratitude, love, and appreciation into it. He doesn't respond, only pulls her closer, allowing her to bury her face into his neck. _Indecent._

When she pulls away, she finds his eyes right in front of her, waiting, yearning. Connection.

"I've been thinking," he begins, lifting his hand to his hair, "I have an idea."

She lifts a questioning eyebrow.

A corner of his mouth lifts higher than the other. "Want to go to the village? Tomorrow. Just me and you."

And then she's smiling, beaming, actually. "Honest?"

"Honest to god. You've always wanted to go. I want to show you my favourite places. You up for it?"

"Yes! A thousand times, yes!"

"Then it's a plan, your Highness."

Her heart hammers in her chest, and Lily knows what she wants to do. She wants to kiss him. _Indecent_.

She doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay! It's been so long since I updated, but this chapter was extra long to make up for it!
> 
> I really want to know what you guys thought of this one because I was super nervous to post it haha. Let me know if you liked it in the comments :)
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr @rainasteele!


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